Passionate Anonymity

Have you ever had an idea or revelation that you thought would change the world? A conviction that gripped you deeply? And have you ever dismissed that conviction because of your seemingly limited influence or position to propagate that conviction?

If you're like me then I'm sure you are greatly influenced by outcomes. If something isn't going to have an impact then I am not very inclined to do it. If nobody is listening why bother speaking? As a blogger I often rate my posts by how many people have viewed these pages in a week, or by the number of comments posted. (And usually that isn't very many!) But today I got to thinking - if something is truly worth doing why should it matter how many people share in my so-called enlightenment?

If nobody gives me a promotion. If I never receive recognition for my 'work'. If the only thing that changes in the process is me, will it be enough? If something is truly worth doing, shouldn't it be worth doing in complete anonymity? Is it's value found in the size of the audience? In how much it is 'consumed'? (North American culture would probably tell us that public consumption is the best marker we have). I would say that a truly 'good' thing will be good irregardless of who's listening or watching or following!

And still I am greatly influenced by how my thoughts and actions are embraced by those around me. It calls my motives into question, my reasons for living out my convictions. In the past my motives have often been incredibly selfish - doing things for the improvement of others, for a change in a system or organization that I have no control over (or any right to demand change from) and in the end, the result is that I have grown jaded by the lack of movement. That doesn't mean I don't sincerely long for good things for those around me, but is that my major reason for doing it?

I must ask myself - "What is the point of 'going it alone'"? Can I choose to live out my convictions simply for the goodness of my own life? Without need for recognition? Without a need for anyone else to join my revolution? If I can, then I believe I will encounter some wonderful things.

1) A full live guided by a sense of deep conviction and passion.
2) A freedom from the expectations of others.

I will be able to live passionately free, and for no other reason than I believe in the life I am called to live! It will be the life that God has called me into! (That is not to say that God doesn't want others to encounter the exact same freedom or revelation - but that I must simply live out of the revelation I have received and allow others to live out of their own.)

So here's to having deep convictions and learning how to live in passionate anonymity!