Creating A Safe Place

Being around church people can get kinda frustrating for me sometimes. Especially when you hear the same slogans over and over again but nobody really knows what they mean (or they don't hold water!). For me one of those sayings is 'it's a safe place'. So I had to ask myself the other day - what exactly does that mean?

Some people would say that a safe place is a place that is free of fear, or the risk of being injured. You know, the kind of place were people won't condem, or judge, or make you feel stupid. Essentially it is a place were nothing negative will happen to you. And so you feel safe, or protected in that environment.

As I thought about what makes something 'safe' I had to opt for a more expansive ideas of what makes something safe - I believe that a safe place is not merely a place void of conflict and injury, but that it is a place of committed truth.

Let me explain...

My marriage is a safe place. What makes it safe? Is it because I never hear harsh words? No! Is it because my feelings never get hurt? No! Is it because I never blow up at my wife and have successfully avoided ever sinning against her out of anger? Most definitely not!! So what makes it safe? What makes my marriage safe is not that it is void of conflict and hurt, but that it is surrounded by a commitment to love one another.

Without commitment you can not have true safety. If I don't know that you will remain in relationship with me I will never be safe to share my true feelings. It's because I know my wife is not leaving me the moment I hurt her, or let her down, that I feel safe enough to share with her my disappointments, my frustrations and even say things that may hurt her feelings. But here is the money - that openness doesn't absolve me from the responsibility of my actions! If I say hurtful words, or act out of anger or sin, then I am responsible for those actions. And if I love my wife, which I do, I will need to ask for forgiveness for my unloving actions. But that is what makes it safe! Knowing that I can openly share my thoughts and emotions (no matter how ugly that may get) and that our commitment to healing, loving and forgiving one another will overcome the debre left behind.

That commitment also allows me to share my brokenness, struggles and dreams. Knowing that no matter how they are initially received, that over time they have the opportunity to be understood, embraced and cared for.

So I would suggest that a 'safe' place is characterized by three things - honest committed love.

(As I re-read this I couldn't help but think of the parallel found in 'safe sex'. The market place and governmental structures tell us that safe sex is about protecting yourself - wearing a condom! But wisdom tells us that the safest sex is between one man and one woman in a committed love relationship. It is not protected, it is intimate, real and vulnerable. There is a huge distinction between the two, with the greatest being this - wearing a condom may protect you, but it will also ensure that you won't produce any life. And a truly safe place should produce life not guard against it!)

So here's to the pursuit of creating truly safe places for people to find life!!!

Cheers!

Believing and Accepting

I heard a great message yesterday about the need to not only believe but to accept God's word for our lives. The story the preacher used was that of the man born blind. Jesus heals him on the Sabbath by spitting on the ground, making clay and then putting it on the mans eyes. Jesus then tells the man to go and wash in the pool of Siloam. The man does what Jesus tells him and he is healed!

The point the preacher made was that this man not only believed that Jesus COULD heal him, but he accepted the way in which Jesus chose to heal him! He could have asked a bunch of 'why' questions - Why the mud? Why do I have to wash? Why in that pool? Can I wash in a different pool? Why did you have to use spit to make the mud? But instead he simply accepted the method of healing and did as Jesus said. He was willfully obedient.

I was thinking about willful obedience a while back and how it seems to look so much different then wrestling with God until we have been beated into submission. We just finally give up fighting! But how much different would our lives look, and God's joy be complete, if we accepted the words God speaks to us?

I have a 3 year old daughter who loves to eat treats. I don't mind giving her special treats but it usually comes with some requirements. Many times it requires that she eat her lunch first, or perhaps clean up her toys. What is the primary response I get from my daughter? I DON"T WANT TO! This can be followed up by a long temper tantrum, perhaps some time-outs and the entire time she keeps screaming 'why won't you give me my candy?'. I want to give her the treat. The truth is that I find great pleasure in giving her treats. The problem is that she is unwilling to do the simple thing I have asked her to do in order to receive the treat. Now before someone gets all bent out of shape on this let me say this - there are times when I simply give my daughter a treat without asking her to do anything. She asks, I give. But as a parent I know that she shouldn't have candy before she has eaten her meal. It's not in her, or my, best interest.

So as a father I often look to my heavenly Father for advice, for parralells or truths that apply to my situation. I believe this is the principle of acceptance at it's best.

I come to God and ask Him to transform my life - perhaps even ask for a miracle. In response He says to me, "I would love to do that, here's what I want you to do...". As a mature (or so I like to think) disciple of Jesus, what will be my response? Will I argue with Him about the method, or the requirement put before me, or will I accept the wisdom that comes with every thing God speaks?

God I want more joy in my life - Good! Repent of your sin!
God I want more peace in my life - Good! Forgive your wife!
God I want you to save the lost - Great! Call your neighbour and invite him over for supper!

I believe that if we would begin to accept the words God speaks to us, that we would see a dramatic outpouring of His power in our lives. We would transform faster, experience greater miracles and see multitudes come to know Jesus as their saviour.

But there was another part of the message that stood out for me. It was the fact that Jesus was asked to heal on the Sabbath. This was an 'out-of-the-ordinary' thing. Jesus was a Jew, and Jews rested on the Sabbath. But the man that wanted to be healed had asked Jesus to heal him on the sabbath. He had requested an extrordinary event to take place, and this is how Jesus responded - He healed the man in and extrordinary way!!

The point the preacher made was this - If you ask God to do something out of the ordinary in your life, the be prepared to DO something our of the ordinary to receive it!

Body Dynamics - Sharing The Goods

We know that the church is the 'body' of Christ, but how many churches function the way a body functions? We have our individual visions, departments, ministries and seldom do we share our ideas, thoughts or resources with each other. We are essentially a bunch of discombobulated body parts trying to work on our own.

What would happen if the church began to work like a body? When the body eats food the stomach processes it and turns it into energy. That energy is shared with the muscles in order to move our limbs, run our heart and breath with our lungs. What would happen if the stomach kept all of the energy for itself? What if the heart started hording all of the blood! The lungs keeping the oxygen for themselves! You would die pretty quickly!!

I thought about this body dynamic the other day as I assessed our churches prophetic ministry. Every sunday morning we have 'perceivers' who gather together and share what the Holy Spirit has been speaking to them. There are often scriptures shared as well as pictures/images of things happening in our facility. It is an encouraging time for the 5 people who join our meeting. Here is were I miss the body dynamic - that prophetic insight is seldom shared with the congregation. Sure it is great for the pastoral team to go forth knowing what God has invited us into, but what about the people sitting in the chairs? How would their God encounter change if we shared with them the roadmap that the Holy Spirit had given us? Would they be more focused? More willing to follow? What if they came hearing the exact same thing from the Holy Spirit but thought that it was simply their imagination? Then to hear the pastor share what God had spoken would confirm that they too hear from God! They could then stand up and share that they had heard the same scripture on the way to church that morning!! Now the whole body has been encouraged by the Holy Spirit's leading - not just the 5 person prophetic team. How would that change our faith? How would that grow our expectancy!!

So seeing that we are the body I though I would start by sharing a thought!

Divorce - More Than Marriage

We often hear people saying that "God hates divorce" and "what God has brought together let no man separate", and over the yeas the church has been very hard on people who have suffered a divorce. But what if Jesus wasn't merely referring to the marriage covenant? What about all of the other things God has brought together?

Love the Lord your God with all that you have, and love your neighbour as yourself? I know that I can't say I love God and hate my brother? But how can I say I have love for my brother if I have no relationship with the God of love who is the giver of all things? The two are inseparable!

What about Worship and Justice?
Faith and Works?
Hearing and Doing?
Forgiveness (Healing) and Confession?
Knowing Jesus (Intimacy) and Remembering the Poor (Invitation)?
Receiving and Giving?

Can I receive God's gifts but not His plan? Can I proclaim that 'all have sinned' and need the saving work of Jesus while concealing my sin for fear of losing my credibility? Can I experience intimacy with Jesus and deny the poor at my door? Can I experience revelation and forgo a response?

God has entrenched so many of His principles together and so often I try to encounter them in isolation. I try to bypass God's law, his divine unions and sneak in for a free one! The best I can relate it to is the man trying to experience a deep sexual relationship outside of a marriage covenant - it's just not going to happen! God has things bound together for a reason, to fulfill HIS plan (and obviously not ours!), and when we separate them they not only lose their beauty, they become activities that lead to death.

What was intended for our pleasure, for abundant life, has turned into something that will kill us! We have stepped out of God's design and remodeled it to suit our own liking. (Sounds a lot like the North American view of sex!)

What do you think?