My Name is Jon, and I'm Not a Butterfly

I've never been to a 12-step program but I've lived long enough to know that they love you to begin your sharing by saying "Hi, I'm (insert name) and I'm an (insert struggle)". Why do they do this? I can only assume it is because they've learned that the best place to start is by confessing the truth - and usually the truth is that we are weak, broken people.

I know I'm broken. I know my wife is broken. And I have yet to have a friend who shares openly with me who has not turned out to be broken as well. I will even go as far as saying that you are broken! Do I know you? No, probably not that well. But I know that you are broken on some level.

My question is this - if we know we are broken, and everyone else around us knows that we are broken, why do we all try so hard to fake it? Add on top of that the fact that I am a follower of Jesus and it pretty much guarentees that I will be expected to have it together (or as they call it, be living 'victoriously'). Yet I consistently find that extremely unhelpful. When I tell people I have it together (even if I really do) they resent me for it. People seldom want to hear that you are finding your way when they are not. It's like a slap in the face! And so, as I've grown older, I've begun to share more out of my brokenness. The result has been that more people connect with what I'm sharing. So why am I blogging about this?

A few years ago I had a church leader (whom I respect very much) tell me that 'people don't want to hear about how you are struggling unless you have walked thru the struggle onto a place of victory!'. (Interestingly enough, this leader was inviting me to join their staff as worship director and I knew the moment I heard his 'encouragement' that I could never lead worship authenticly under such guidance.). My experience has been the exact opposite of this persons view. I find the more I share out of my weakness, the more people find common ground and encouragement from the fact that I'm still pressing into God in life/worship.

I'd be interested to know if this holds true for you?

I'm not simply saying that misery loves company, I'm posing the question - If in my brokennes I crawl into the light of God's love, and from that place declare my struggle to the world. Who will be drawn into the light with me? Will it not be other people with a similar brokenness? And is that in fact the place we all want to be! Our entire life is about drawing people out of the dark into the light of mercy.

So what is my thought? I guess it would be this:

To be a moth held captive by the light; I must first admit I'm not a butterfly.